Standing at The Door

S

Think of something like an adventurer who goes around the town to seek for knowledge. While wandering the surrounding, there’s a beautiful house appears before you. It’s sure far away, but it shines throughout the wood and it caught your eyes. Then you think, “I think that’s a place that potentially could be called as my home. A place where I could stay and share what I gather around. A place that can give me comfort and nowhere could do so.”

Upon the door, there’s a beautiful woman standing just beside the door. It feels like she’s welcoming someone she’s waiting for a very long time. You could feel her smile. It’s very soothing that your pains suddenly vanished as you approach closer to the source of the smile. And your happiness is unknowingly increasing to the max when you stand right in front of the beautiful woman. 

Your mind goes, “She’s so beautiful that I don’t think she’s a human. She probably an angel in disguise. Her aura and charm is very strong and no one could resist that.” Then the first word that came out of your mouth would be, “Hello, how are you?” She then happily answer your question, “Never been better. Glad to see you.” 

You feel connected to each other even though that’s the first time you meet. Seems like chemistry already doing its work while you’re still wondering the connection between you and the angel-in-disguise. Both of you have a small talk that you forget sun is already set. 

As of now, you don’t stand a chance against darkness. You need either to run away to find another light or stay in the house. Since you feel connected, safe, and comfortable with the lady, you politely ask, “Is it okay if I could stay here? My wish would be forever but it’s up to you.” 

Suddenly, the lady change her expression. Those joy and happiness feelings are mixed with “dark” emotions. “Is everything okay?” You’re trying to confirm if something wrong with the lady. The lady seems suddenly upset and down. She’s turning the emotions upside down. “I think it’s best for you to find another source of light, happiness, and joy.”

You feel confused. You ask yourself, “what happened with the recent moments we share? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something crossed the lines? Are all of those happiness just disguises to cover up the darkness? What kind of sin that makes me deserved this treatment?” You’re trying to assess the situation but the more you assess the more negative your assumptions are. The best way to minimise these ugly thinking would be confirming with the related party. 

“I’m okay to wait here but I would love to lend my hand. Tell me what I do to perish those negative emotions.” The lady suddenly move slightly to the left so you can see what’s inside the house. You’re shocked. It looks like traumas, anger, frustration, depression, are the hosts of that house. But you’re not sure if those are the products of the lady emotion or just legacy that turns her emotions. Yet, you’re brave enough. You really want to make the lady happy again. You want to make the lady in a comfortable state. You ask once more, “Please. I think it’s fair for me to help you out in this situation. You’re my primary source of happiness. I can’t let you down long enough.”

“I’m still afraid of letting someone inside. I admire you a lot. You’re the ideal bodyguard I really need. But this feelings are mixed up. I can’t let you be part of this mess. I think I need more time to heal myself.” The lady ask politely to you. “As I said, It’s probably the best for you to find another source of happiness, joy, and light.”

Then you realise your principal, if someone doesn’t want your help even if you’re willing to, it’s pointless to move forward. Unless the lady ask you to help her, you’re nobody to her. You’re just passerby who happen to be connected at that moment. Yet, you don’t want to blame the lady since her situation is also part of her decision. Then, you tell the lady, “I understand. I will take my leave. Best of luck to you. Hope light could perish those darkness inside your house.” Then you step out to walk away, wandering again in the jungle. 

Your heart still have the heat of those happiness. Your heart wants you to go back and wait there even if you’re not needed there. As you move forward, “I think I’m out of her league. That’s what I could think of. The lady is almost perfect that you could possibly call her an angel-in-disguise. While I’m just a mere commoner, there’s no way you I could be at the same level.” Accepting the current situation is really a difficult decision to you, but that’s the best way to carry on and move forward with your life. Once again, best of luck to you, lady. 

About the author

Mochamad Gufron

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm an active software engineer who love to learn a lot of things. I'm also in love at writing some blog entries. Get in touch with me on email if you need anything.

Email: mgufronefendi@gmail.com

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Mochamad Gufron

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm an active software engineer who love to learn a lot of things. I'm also in love at writing some blog entries. Get in touch with me on email if you need anything.

Email: mgufronefendi@gmail.com